Vleeptron is trying to tell you why the M Word is REALLY important to YOU!

An Albanian valet (James Mason)

invites a destitute French aristocrat
with expensive tastes (Danielle Darrieux)
to leave Turkey and join him in his
new life in a mountainside villa
overlooking the harbor of Rio de Janeiro.
Get real.
("5 Fingers" 1952)

i built a house inside a house
i bought a tiger to catch a mouse
disconnect my phone
i don't want to hear those poor folks moan
cause i'm rich

-- Geoff Muldaur

Okay I have important work to do today and tonight, so this must be brief (for me).

It has come to Vleeptron's attention that whenever it prints the word "math," or hints strongly toward that concept, about 99.2 percent of the readership immediately goes surfing for animated toon digital virtual pixel porn from Central Asia.

If you could send vomit over the Internet, the Comment Sewers Beneath Ciudad Vleeptron would be reeking of the stuff whenever we use the M Word.

So what can lure you into the Wonders & Delights, Charms, Mysteries, Satisfactions, Thrills & Magicke of the M Word?

How about raw greed?

The desire for sums of money greater than you could possibly spend in what remains of your lifetime, even if you are actually a Drunken Sailor reading this in an Internet Cafe in Yemen.

In Judy Tenuda's TV ads for the carbonated beverage Diet Doctor Pepper, she is carried all over town, recumbent with her accordian, sitting up on an elbow, in gorgeous silks, satins and gold jewelry, on a litter by six young male college athletes dressed identically, of a variety of heritages, all with enormous bulging muscles everywhere, and perfect teeth. That kind of Money.

Ah, the other M Word. Well, here is the Vleeptron Functional Concept Equivalency Equation (VFCEE):

MATH = BIG MONEY

In-ground swimming pool money. Hot tub money. Wooden deck. Travel to Ulan Bator on the train erste-klasse money. Sleeping compartment, bed, shower, little wooden table.

After stealing all the D-Day Secrets from the British Ambassador in Ankara, and selling them to the Third Reich, the Albanian-born spy called "Cicero," who was the Ambassador's valet, fled with his suitcase full of cash to a place he had seen just once before, when he was a cabin boy on a rusty nasty Balkans-registered freighter. From the harbor of Rio de Janeiro, he had looked up into the tropical mountains above the city and seen, a half-mile away, a beautiful house with a patio, and looking down over the harbor behind a stone balcony was a gentleman in an elegant formal white dinner jacket, holding a drink, watching the sun set. Cicero's first stop when he got to Rio the second time was the elegant formal white dinner jacket store, or a tailor who could cook one up to Cicero's shape and tastes by this evening around 8.

Patio overlooking the harbor money. Not Iqaluit Harbor. Rio. Samba every night money.

Math will put it into your suitcase. In cash, or some form nearly as liquid, but with a crisper Audit Trail. (The Germans had paid Cicero in counterfeit British pound notes. He had to give back the dinner jacket.) But it's LEGAL! Nothing fraudulent or criminal, at least on your end, all taxes pre-siphoned out of your suitcase by men in suits before you leap into the taxi for Schiphol.

In fact I am at this very instant using MATH (pls do not Puke A Comment) in a Scheme so that the next time you hear from Bob, he will be wallowing around in U$18,000,000 or thereabouts and making phone calls to see about Airport limos.

(Latin American cocaine entrepreuneurs are rumored not to count the cash, but just to weigh it in big plastic trash bags, and that's a sufficient tally of cash assets to keep staying in business very profitably, whereas counting cash is a very slow and labor-expensive procedure, it just gets in the way of raw fast profit. Counting is less necessary than weighing.)

Yes, my dear friends, soon Vleeptron may cease forever. I am on my way to play 3 tickets in tonight's drawing of the Massachusetts (actually many states join hands on this particularly game) Mega Millions state lottery game. And after Twynki :-) has picked the six ping-pong balls at 23:10 tonite in front of a live and TV audience, I will have much to do -- the hickory deck to sketch, the phone calls to the Ambassade on the Herrengraacht, and the Savoy. No time for the blog. No time for almost all of you, unless you're about as rich as or richer than I am about to be.

Instructions:

a. Pick 5 integers from 1 to 56
b. Pick 1 integer from 1 to 46
c. To play again, go to (a.)
d. For each ticket, pay clerk $1 before 20:00
e. Watch Twynki pick the ping-pong balls on Boston Channel 5 at 23:10

It's as easy as that -- buying the tickets is as easy as that.

Winning the $18,000,000 -- that's the Big Secret Math Thing. And I know the Secret(s). Maybe I'll tell You, after I get the new house in Rio in shape and find a reliable .br Internet Service Provider.

Yacht. (Just renting, 2 weeks at a time, January in the Caribbean.)

And MATH(s) will have made it all happen.

More of the Specific Mathematical Details and Equations later. Watch This Space. Wish me luck! Leave A Comment.

P.S. The $18,000,000 will be paid me in annual installments for the next 20 years. But if I want, I can just take one Lump Sum, I think you get a check for about $6,700,000, and then it's off to Schiphol.