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27 May 2005

Termite Culture 2: Bob bothers 5211 Europeans


This all started about six months ago, when I had not yet gone through detox for my Internet Relay Chat addiction. (Now I need help with my blog addiction.)

Droog4 was on Undernet #israel, a wonderful, fascinating CyberOasis where people from all over the Middle East and all over the world (deep in the North American night, sometimes everyone in this chatroom is chatting along merrily in Tagalog or Cebuano) park their camels and Volvos and chat and curse each other and scream insults and threaten to kill each other and exchange very interesting ideas, and recipes. We are often visited by dangerous 13-year-old Nazi terrorists with bad acne who threaten us from their bedrooms.

[OsamaBinLadin] I KILL ALL ZIONISTS! I KILL ALL ZIONISTS!
I KILL ALL ZIONISTS! I KILL ALL ZIONISTS! I KILL ALL ZIONISTS! I KILL ALL ZIONISTS! I KILL ALL ZIONISTS! I KILL ALL ZIONISTS!

[Droog4] Isn't it sad when cousins marry?

[@Shlomo] *OsamaBinLadin* and the entire continent of *Africa* have been kicked and permanently banned from #israel. Have a Nice Day.

I hang there for a secret personal reason, to bring Peace To The Middle East. That was my self-appointed mission, before I got the ulcer and the psychiatrist made me uninstall mIRC.

Before that, in 1999, Droog4 hung on Undernet #kosovo.

[ygor15] WE WIN BATTLE OF KOSOVO IN 1323 A.D.!!!

[Droog4] And this relates to anything since the Renaissance sort of how?

Well -- that war's over a long time ago. The Balkans are safe and quiet more or less now. It's all over but the Genocide Trials in the Hague. Can I take the credit for Peace in the Balkans? You decide.

Actual piece of dialogue from #kosovo. This fellow was from Belgrade:

[pinokio] sorry must go now bombs falling

* pinokio has left IRC


Anyway, so back to Undernet #israel. I was minding my own business bringing Peace To The Middle East, and some guy private-messages me.

[Hermes] You are Jewish?
[Droog4] I are Jewish, yes.
[Hermes] from America?
[Droog4] Yup yup you got it
[Hermes] You know Eurovision Song Contest?
[Droog4] YES! YES! I LOVE THE EUROVISION SONG CONTEST! I SAW IT ON SCOTLAND TV ONE NIGHT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE DANA INTERNATIONAL!!! SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!
* Droog4 Riverdances under his computer desk tippitytappitytiptappitytip
[Hermes] I am from Greece
[Droog4] Wow wow cool beans, Athenai?
[Hermes] No I am living Salonika. You know this?
[Droog4] Hey I've heard of that, cool.
[Hermes] I am starting a MSN Eurovision Song Contest List, for all who love the Eurovision Song Contest. Will you join this list?
[Droog4] I'm your guy! You bet! <-- (yes)
[Hermes] Giving for me your e-mail?
[Droog4] bobmerk@earthlink.net
[Hermes] This is happy! I love Eurovision Song Contest always. Now it will be in Ukraine, in Kiev. If I can take time from my work, I will go there to see it on the bus if I can make this money. You will get e-mail from my new Eurovision List.

Well. I feel bad. I haven't done much with the guy's List. I really haven't done anything. Read a few of their posts, haven't sent any posts. (I'm scared to get too close to this particular Kult. These people are Strange.) I suck as a fan of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Until now. Prepare to welcome some new visitors to Vleeptron!

* * * * * * *

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SUBJECT: Congratulations Kiev, Hi all Eurovision fans!

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Recommend Message 1 of 1 in Discussion
From: MSN NicknameKwikKwakKwek1 (Original Message) Sent: 5/25/2005 9:39 PM


CONGRATULATIONS GREECE!!!!

OKAY ... I am from the USA and we do not know almost anything at all about the Eurovision Song Contest ... but I saw it once (from a hotel in Scotland) and was fascinated, and have been paying as close attention as possible ever since.

And I have written a little Ignorant Something about Eurovision Song Contest on my blog. And then some Europeans have left some interesting comments.

Also a Very Rare Thing ... the first Eurovision Song Entry from Outer Space!!! You cannot find this anywhere else but my blog!

Please visit and read.

http://vleeptron.blogspot.com/2005/05/termite-culture-sauer-grapes-from.html

If it pleases you, say Hi! leave a Comment.

If it infuriates or outrages you, say Hi! leave a Comment.

But this is true: I wish I could have been in Kiev!

KwikKwakKwek
Massachussetts USA

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4 Comments:

Blogger a said...

Oh god. I was an IRC addict for 5 or 6 years.

CNN just told me that Viagra blinds people.

20:01  
Blogger Joana said...

Well I have 2 addctions, IRC ( #israel and #israel30+) and your blog. Please don't stop and come back to #israel this minute! :)

we MISS you there!

20:05  
Blogger Vleeptron Dude said...

Well, the ulcer and the three days in the psychiatric ward continuously weeping ...

I miss #israel very much also, no joke, it is the most fascinating place. But the chat people from both Israel and the 9 surrounding Islamic countries were not taking my advice and following my simple instructions for Peace in the Middle East. This was frustrating, and also it was delaying my Plans for #SriLanka.

Also the crazy hour-long private chats with Moroccans and Tunisians in French, a language I do not speak. Things were getting out of hand.

Also, when a non-Muslim, Christian or Jew, types the word "Sura", they all have a stroke from shock and die.

And whenever I would say 2 words in Hebrew, the Israelis would say: HOW YOU KNOW IVRIT? It took me a long time to realize that the Hebrew Language is a military secret. It was becoming tedious to be accused of being some sort of spy.

Crusader ... Does it make you go blind instantly, like right in the middle of a down stroke? Can't you just keep using it until you need glasses?

(slightly more) Seriously ... A week ago, before this Viagra thing, I just read an e-mail from a guy on a list answering the magical question "What's your favorite drug?" He seems like a youngish guy, he only takes Cialis to convince women that he is superhumanly endowed and has the mythical stamina of a god. (He doesn't tell them he is taking the stuff, he just wanders around with his 2-meter 4-day erection nonchalantly.) But he went on about his Love Affair with Cialis for about 20 paragraphs. Would you like this Unsolicited (boy, was it unsolicited!) Testimony?

Meanwhile, get your vision checked after every date.

21:39  
Blogger Vleeptron Dude said...

Also you got the CNN story wrong. Viagra does not blind people. Only men.

21:49  

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