out on the edge of darkness

Since the 11 September 2001 terror attacks on the United States, our government has had to mobilize all its resources -- law enforcement, intelligence, military, public health, etc. -- to develop defenses against the new kinds of threats against America emerging in the 21st Century.

One of the most frightening of all these threats is a possible mass attack against America by very old nearly forgotten hippie folksingers with acoustic guitars from the 1960s and 1970s. Because of the terrible damage this could cause America, The Department of Homeland Security and all agencies charged with defending the United States are constantly on the lookout for these kinds of terrorists, and are determined to thwart their schemes at all costs.

The Center for Folksinger Early Detection (C-FED) began operations at its new headquarters in Scaggsville, Maryland (midway between Washington DC and Baltimore) in September 2003.

C-FED Headquarters, Scaggsville MD
The last design by the American architect Philip Johnson (1907-2005).

And, as things turned out, not a moment too soon.

Of all the old 60s and 70s folksingers, anti-terrorism experts had long warned that the most dangerous was the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens, English composer and singer of "Peace Train," which first began reaching the ears and minds of naive and defenseless young Americans in 1971, on AM and FM radio stations, and as the last track of his album "Teaser and the Firecat."

The folksong's defeatist, non-violent, nihilistic message of peace and universal brotherhood was incredibly infectious and damaging to national security. America was at that instant waging a huge war in Vietnam, and although it was clear to all military experts that the overwhelming might of the American military (versus short enemies in pajamas and sandals who rode old bicycles through the jungle) would eventually pursuade the Vietnamese people to desire American-style two-party democracy, freedom, the free-market economic system, and American beverages, culture and fast food, 1971 was a difficult and challenging moment for the war effort.

"Peace Train" had a devastating effect on young Americans on the homefront. Many cancelled their plans to enlist in the military, while others relocated to Toronto and Vancouver. According to the Gallup Poll, an estimated 21.3 million young Americans who heard Stevens' song changed their opinions from

* "This war really sucks, and deranged drunk psychopaths must be in charge of it."

to

* "This war totally sucks the hairy wazoo even more than I thought it did last week. Nixon and Kissinger must be completely out of their fucking minds."

The collapse of American patriotism, morale and determination caused by "Peace Train" was a substantial factor in the ultimate War Tie, in which North Vietnam and the Viet Cong agreed to completely conquer South Vietnam and make everyone Communists, and the Americans agreed to flee for their lives on helicopters to waiting aircraft carriers in the South China Sea in 1974.

Government officials charged with protecting America from hippie folksingers had learned their lesson, and vowed never to let these foreign musical terrorists set foot on our shores again.

During the Carter and Clinton administrations (Clinton played the acoustic guitar on an African trip when he learned one of the sexual harrassment lawsuits dogging him had been dismissed), the government relaxed its vigilance and dropped its guard against foreign hippie folksingers, who were allowed free access to come and go from the United States, and sing folksongs, often with pacifist and troilist themes.

On accepting the Democratic Party's presidential nomination at its 1992 New York City convention, Clinton instructed convention officials repeatedly to blare "Don't Stop Thinking about Tomorrow (Yesterday's Gone)" by the foreign folksingers Fleetwood Mac. New York City, and particularly the neighborhood of Greenwich Village, where many Democratic convention delegates spent their time, is a traditional center of nihilistic pacifist folksingers both foreign and domestic.

But immediately on taking office in 2000, George W. Bush Jr. instructed his senior national security officials that the folk song threat was now a top priority in protecting America, particularly after the United States launched its war to install democracy, American fast food and soft drinks, and distribute free Bibles in Iraq and Afghanistan.

On 22 September 2004, the most dangerous folksinging "sleeper" of them all, Stevens, attempted to slip past America's intelligence net and fly from England to Dulles International Airport, only 27 miles from the White House.

C-FED analysts have subsequently discovered e-mails which contain conclusive evidence that, once safely on American soil, Stevens planned to borrow a Martin 00028EC acoustic guitar and sing "Peace Train" to a new generation of young Americans who had never heard it before, and consequently had no immunity to its powerful morally erosive effects.

He nearly succeeded.

But while his airliner was in mid-flight over the North Atlantic, agents of C-FED were alerted to the threat, and sprang into action.

President Bush was immediately awakened twice, notified of the crisis, and presented with several options, but decided against sending fighter jets to blow the plane out of the sky, although his National Security Advisor, Dr. Condoleeza Rice, pushed for that solution as the only one that could guarantee a perfectly safe outcome for Homeland Security.

Instead, despite the potential threat to the people of Maine, the President chose to divert the aircraft to Bangor International Airport, where the singing Islamic terrorist and his daughter were immediately taken into custody and sent back on the first London-bound aircraft. (Bangor Airport is the specially designated air crisis facility equipped to handle trans-Atlantic airline passengers who get drunk, throw pretzels at other passengers, and try to stick their hands in the blouses of flight attendants.)

America was safe, and the Iraq/Afghanistan Wars of Liberation and Democracy continue on their smooth, prompt and ultimately victorious courses. The Department of Defense has recently announced that all American troops will be home by Christmas 2005.

****************

The Washington Post
Wednesday 22 September 2004

Cat Stevens Held
After D.C. Flight Diverted

By Sara Kehaulani Goo
Washington Post Staff Writer

U.S. security officials yesterday diverted a Washington-bound United Airlines flight and detained Yusuf Islam, formerly known as the pop singer Cat Stevens, after discovering that he had been allowed to board the plane in London even though he was on the government's no-fly list.

Islam was questioned in Bangor, Maine, by Customs and Border Protection agents. Dennis Murphy, spokesman for the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, said Islam is scheduled to be deported today on a flight to Europe. "He is being detained on national security grounds," Murphy said. He declined to elaborate.

Islam was denied entry into Israel several years ago out of concerns that his charitable contributions had funded militant groups. He denied knowingly contributing to any such groups.

Homeland Security officials worked with the Federal Aviation Administration yesterday afternoon to order the United flight to land in Bangor, the closest major airport on the East Coast, after learning that Islam was on board the Boeing 747. Islam, whose name is listed as "Usef Islam," is on several government watch lists, including the no-fly list, according to sources familiar with the event.

While the flight was over the Atlantic, Customs and Border Protection agents were routinely comparing the passenger manifest against the watch lists and realized that Islam was on board, these sources said. Airline agents conduct similar checks before flights depart; it was not clear yesterday why Islam was not flagged before he boarded.

Transportation Security Administration spokesman Mark Hatfield said his agency made the decision to divert the flight. "We did not want that aircraft to enter the Northeast corridor airspace," which would have taken it over New York and into Washington, Hatfield said. "We got information that led us to make a decision, based on the fact there was a confirmed individual on board."

United Airlines declined to comment on the incident yesterday but said that its Flight 919 eventually continued to Dulles International Airport yesterday evening.

Islam recorded 12 albums before abandoning his singing career in the late 1980s after he converted to Islam. He drew criticism in the late 1980s after he publicly supported Ayatollah Khomeini's death edict against author Salman Rushdie. After the terrorist attacks in 2001, Islam said he would donate profits from his CD box set to families of the victims of the attacks.

Staff researcher Don Pohlman contributed to this report.

© 2004 The Washington Post Company

****************

from www.yusufislam.org.uk

Peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya*
Come on peace train

Peace Train on its way

Oh I've been happy lately,
Thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be,
Some day it's going to come
Oh I've been smiling lately,
Dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be,
Some day it's going to come

Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on peace train
Some day it's going to come,
Come on peace train,
Mmm, come take me home again,
Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Mmm, come on peace train

Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya

Cause out on the edge of darkness,
There rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country,
Come take me home again
Oh I've been smiling lately,
Thinking about the world as one
And I believe it could be,
Some day it's going to come

Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on the peace train
Some day it's going to come,
Come on the peace train,
Mmm, come take me home again,
Some day it's going to come,
Some day it's going to come,
Some day - some day,
Some day it's going to come

I've been crying lately,
Thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating?
Why can't we live in bliss?

Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya, Ngise'Khaya

Peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train
Mmm, come on peace train
Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on peace train
Some day it's going to come,
Come on peace train,
Mmm, come take me home again

Peace Train on its way
Come take me home again

Come take me home,
come take me home
Come take me home again,
Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on peace train

Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on peace train
Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on peace train
Some day it's going to come,
Come take me home again,
Mmm, come on peace train
Peace Train on its way
Peace Train on its way
Peace Train

Cause out on the edge of darkness
There rides a peace train,
Peace train take this country,
Come take me home again,
Come take me home again,
Come take me home...

* Zulu: "Take me home"
© 2003 Cat Music Ltd