Agence-Vleeptron Presse Sports: Guide to Team USA / World Cup 2006!!!
The people who read Vleeptron from Europe and Asia (caught a guy who hangs in Mexico reading it last week) cannot possibly imagine how little we know about Soccer (aka Football/Fusbol/Futbol/Footie) in the United States.
I know so little about Soccer that I couldn't even find an image of a Soccer ball, so I used two molecules of buckminsterfullerene, or buckyballs, instead. Buckminsterfullerene is a molecular form of carbon which consists of 60 carbon atoms; chemists who dreamed it up, then cooked some up, and eventually found some occurring naturally in deep space named it for the Geodesic Dome invented by the visionary architect Buckminster Fuller.
THE RULES OF SOCCER are fairly simple. A bunch of guys who can't use their hands run up and down a rectangular field and try to kick or head-butt a round thing which is not a sphere into a goal area. The goalkeeper can use his hands to try to keep the round thing out of the goal area.
Agence-Vleeptron Sports is indebted to U.B. of DE for explaining the Off-Sides Rule. "I can't explain it. But I know it when I see it."
TEAM USA tied Italy 1-1 the other day and so remains Mathematically Alive -- a form of Living which is pretty thready and marginal. If we lose to Ghana Thursday, we are Mathematically Fucked, and must go home, which, if you will check the roster, is the Netherlands, Germany, England, Belgium, and, in surprisingly many cases, the USA.
A Soccer Mom, in American political parlance, is a white suburban woman who drives an SUV and takes her kids to soccer practice, and then votes for Republican candidates, including Bush. But in an educated, prosperous way. Cf. also NASCAR Dad.
I am really going to make a big effort to wake up by 10 am Thursday to watch the game. What do you eat at Soccer games? Sausages? Okay! I like this game already!