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NGO_Vleeptron (aka "Bob from Massachusetts") recently featured LIVE on BBC WORLD SERVICE, heard briefly by Gazillions!!!

My Photo
Location: Great Boreal Deciduous Hardwood Forest, New England, United States

old dude, all hair, swell new teeth

11 February 2006

but Answer came there None

You should always click these images.

Amazing Discovery!

There IS Something
at the Empty Focus!

CIUDAD VLEEPTRON (Agence-Vleeptron Presse) -- A team of Vleeptronian Space-o-Nauts has discovered an amazing Artifact from a long-extinct Ancient Civilation at the Empty Focus of the Orbit of Planet Yobbo.

After a 6.2-Yobboyear voyage, the crew aboard the HMS Candy Clark has reported that a giant yellow Pushpin, about the size of the Big Boy statue in front of the Big Boy restaurants, is punctured into the fabric of Spacetime exactly at the point of the Empty Focus.

Physicists, astronomers and mathematicians had previously believed there is Nothing at the Empty Focus of a planetary orbit. Some have theorized that there might be some Zilch or Organic Bupkis, but essentially the Nada Theory holds that there's mostly Nothing there.

The extinct civilization left large signs, one of which warns visitors not to tie any string around the Pushpin.


Like, is Nobody gonna take a whack at the PizzaQ?

I mean ... it's not like real Rocket Science.

Some of you had it in high school. And then forgot how to do it.

Some of you had it in college. And then forgot.

Yes. Math hurts. Get over it. Suck it up. It's supposed to hurt.

Okay, here's a HINT:

1 Flongo = 1 Kilometer

I can't believe nobody's even guessing WRONG!

Is this the Future of the Internet? Only 6 people left who can compute the Circumference of a Planetary Orbit? And they're keeping it to themselves?


Anonymous patfromkepler said...


Blogger Bob Merkin said...

Oh! THAT guy! Yeah! I know a lot about him!

I guess I've been spending so much time on Vleeptron that I forgot that

6. Sznqrüûüûp's First Law

is exactly the same as

6. KEPLER's First Law:

The orbit of every planet is an Ellipse, with the Sun at one Focus, and Nothing at the other.

Although now we've discovered that in the Joltcola sun system, there's a Big Yellow Pushpin at the Empty Focus of every planet's orbit ellipse.

Why is there a Pushpin at both foci? (The other Pushpin is in the center of the Joltcola star.) And why is it against the law to wrap string around the Pushpins? And was ist die Deutscheswerde fur "Pushpin"?

A little French girl in an airport was chewing gum, and I asked her what the French word for it was, and she said: "Shwingum." Shwingum is Verboten in Singapore. (That's the truth. I don't think they cane you on the buttocks for shwingum, but they arrest you and fine you.)

Kepler was the assistant to the Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe. Brahe had a tin nose. It was Second Prize in a youthful swordfight. They worked together on Brahe's Astronomy Island called Uraniborg, after Urania, the Muse of Astronomy.

Kepler used Brahe's state-of-the-art best-precision observations of the movements of Mars to finally figure out his Laws. Kepler finally pursuaded a German prince, Rudolph, to publish Brahe's Mars tables, so they're called The Rudolphine Tables.

All this happened before the invention of the telescope (by a Dutch guy, Galileo heard about it in a letter), so Brahe was observing the visible planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn) with huge long steerable tubes. They're still there on Uraniborg. The island's called Hven, off the Swedish coast, you get there on a ferry. Modern astronomers and astrophysicists and cosmologists like to use it as a convention center. I wanna go on my next Yerp trip.

The big Science Museum in Kobenhavn is the Tycho Brahe Museum. Been there. Pretty nifty.


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