DESPICABLETEACHER YOUR HOMEWORK IS LATE
UNIVERSIDAD da VLEEPTRON HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT No. 2:
*j* da playwright and travel writer -- Please feel free to do this homework too!
By the way ... I used to just think I was making jokes about coming to Lisboa.
The jokes stopped a long time ago. No date yet, no definite plans, no money, but I WILL BE COMING TO PORTUGAL. SOON. And this homework assignment would speed that along and help a lot!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You wrote me once long ago about a Muslim/North African quarter/neighborhood of Lisboa.
Like *j* posted the beautiful travelog of Bairro Alto. (Did you notice that my Portuguese Stranger, the chartered accountant, I bothered her for 45 minutes, she did not know merda about Bairro Alto. I think it for her is "the place I don't like to go.")
Tell Vleeptron at least 200 words about the Lisboa Muslim Quarter. Its name. Its age. Its size. How interesting it is. (Maybe it's boring, you think?)
What do they sell?
Is there a Minaret, and do they broadcast the Call to Prayer very loud?
If you want also to say a couple words about Government Relations & Controversial Social Issues between Portugal and its Muslim community. Vleeptron loves this kind of stuff.
Also in the Muslim Quarter da Lisboa -- how's the food???? What is there good to eat? Also what kind of Stuph do they sell in the market?
posted by Vleeptron Dude | 19:49
8 Comments:
Despicableteacher is very very busy, correcting §J§'s and his colleagues' papers, but anyhow the old Muslim quarters are no longer Muslim quarters. The names still bear the remnant of ancient times, though. One is for example called «Mouraria» ( go google for the photos ), which means Moorish quarter, and another one has the name Alfama( as you most certainly know the prefix al- is a clear indication of a word of Arab origin. I did do my homework though, so here goes the latest on the Muslim community.
There were large Muslim communities in the ex colonies Guinea-Bissau and Mozambique, with the decolonization most of them came here. Most of them live in the outskirts of Lisbon. The Lisbon mosque was built in 1985 :)
The community has around 35.000 members. LArge, very large compared to 200 Jews hehehe.
In Mouraria there is a shopping center in a place called Martim Moniz, there you can find all sorts of spices to make any type of food you wish :)
The problem with you coming, Bob, is that I sense you are going to literally fall in love with Lisbon and all the little towns in rural Portugal I will gladly show you, ONLY if you promise not to tell any tourist about them. Places where No McDonald's can be found and no Coca- Cola! = paradise:)
§J§-they are actually sort of awful, thank G-d for continuous assessment. BTW I did get your e-mail, I did not answer not to infect you with several viruses that have decided to attack my pc, so Ihad to format the hard drive and re-install the whole thing.
§J§- >>>> chicken and Chinese ;)
I like long bus rides where the bus has lots of live chickens. Usually the bus is brightly and imaginatively painted on the outside. These bus rides are AMAZINGLY inexpensive.
It is with such sadness and disappointment that I must tell you that your wonderful homework assignments are, alas, INCOMPLETE.
No student has answered the question about today's political, educational, cultural, artistic, musical, economic and military relationships and challenges between Portugal and all its former overseas possessions.
Bob is a very nosy person who cannot read Portuguese (except for interesting first-night theater phrases and IRC curses), and Planet Vleeptron doesn't get a lot of news in English from/about Portugal. As several of you have made rude jokes about while my back was turned as I wrote Important Things on the blackboard, Bob's knowledge of modern Portugal ends around the time of the Happy Death of Salazar ("al-Momzer").
Oh, and please jump on the Zeta Beam and visit Vleeptron for our biggest Planet-Wide Festival, Salazar's Deathday -- the streets are FILLED with raw sausages, the sidewalks have many barbecue fires so you can cook your own while everybody sings the traditional Salazar Death Song, "Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy."
The most fun moment is when the Eighth Moon appears, and Peewee Herman leads a retired PIDE secret policeman into the Plaza Centro, pours old motor oil all over him, makes him withdraw his life savings (a fortune from his fine skill at betting on horses at the Jockey Club every day) from the ATM, shoves a few cheap Macau firecrackers up his tuchas, lights the fuse, and sends him back to New Macau, now under New Management.
Then, when the Ninth Moon appears in the sky over Ciudad Vleeptron, two nice old men -- they were young men a very long time ago -- raise their glass of absinthe and drink a toast to la Liberdad, and the entire population of Vleeptron do the same.
(A sourpuss chartered accountant who is always very busy doesn't like absinthe, so she drinks Coca-Cola.)
If you don't want this INCOMPLETE to go on your Permanent Record, where it will follow, bother and haunt you for the rest of your lives, please complete the homework assignment at your earliest convenience.
Oooh oooh and it's even better when there is a goat on the bus!
Well from what I have heard and read the relationship with ex-colonies is fantastic., but again I've been very busy. I went to the National Archives where I have been nagging them about seeing my grandfather's PIDE record. FINALLY I got to see it. Fabulous. According to one of the PIDES my grandfather was seen carrying a suitcase which had no less than one Murillo and one Velazquez in it, so as you can imagine I am busy trying to figure out where the hell he hid them ( of course all this is in their «creative» imagination), he died poor and his fortune went to help other people in exile and in worse conditions as he was. If it were true you bet i would not be sitting on my tusches now in Lisbon!!!
okay i confess, the valezquez hangs in my bathroom.
sometime in the early 20th century, somebody stole the Mona Lisa, it was missing for many years. When they finally got it back, they discovered where it had been: hanging on the wall in a millionaire's bathroom.
Somebody should paint a picture of the millionaire sitting on the toilet and admiring his Mona Lisa.
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