News, Weather, Mozart, Sports, Eurovision Love Ænema & Perverted Videogames from Vleeptron

NGO_Vleeptron (aka "Bob from Massachusetts") recently featured LIVE on BBC WORLD SERVICE, heard briefly by Gazillions!!!

My Photo
Location: Great Boreal Deciduous Hardwood Forest, New England, United States

old dude, all hair, swell new teeth

19 November 2005

You can help this man get a brain ... or you can turn the page. The decision is yours. This will go on your permanent record.

If I Only Had a Brain
from "The Wizard of Oz"

lyrics by E.Y. "Yip" Harburg
music by Harold Arlen

I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers

Consultin' with the rain
And my head, I'd be scratchin'

While my thoughts were busy hatchin'

If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel ev'ry riddle
For any individ'le

In trouble or in pain

With the thoughts you'd be thinkin'

You could be another Lincoln,

If you only had a brain.

Oh, I
Could tell you why

The ocean's near the shore,

I could think of things
I never thunk before

And then I'd sit and think some more!

I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'

My heart all full of pain.

I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry

If I only had a brain -- Whoa!


Anonymous patfromch said...

Pleez veryfiy if thuz appliez

Coz when I chick dat I may be right..

I think he has a brain (a small one. A very small one). It just needs a firmware update !

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

Actually after one of his free medical and dental checkups while he was a jet pilot for the Texas and Alabama National Guard (during the Vietnam War -- American still had to protect itself from them dangerous flying Mexicans), Air Force doctors discovered he has a small second brain near the base of his spine, which controls his leg muscles so he can walk. Early in his presidency, when he had that choking incident in the White House residence, it was discovered that his main brain was too small to reliably control his autonomic breathing functions, so they installed a small microchip to stimulate his breathing nerves once every 4.4 seconds.

But ACTUALLY as long ago as his first campaign for president, a "puff piece" (Man On The Ground in Helvetia must learn this term, there is probably a deutsches equivalent for young guys who work for Der Stern) about Candidate George Bush sympathetically written in the magazine The New Yorker, interviewed an old Bush pal who mentioned The Dyslexia Thing, and how he has struggled with this challenge his whole life. Already as he shifted his political stage from Texas (where Real Dumb Politicians are hardly even noticed) to the entire nation, The Dumb As Rocks Thing was starting to cause his campaign political problems. There are Republicans, there are Republicans, and then there are a lot of Undecided Voters who will vote against somebody who seems to be that Stupid. But if you spin it to Dyslexia, this often generates sympathy,

He went to Yale at a very sad time. Before the 60s, rich drunk millionaire sons could get through Yale without knowing all 26 letters of the English alphabet. But by the mid-60s, Yale had turned nasty for idiots like George Jr, and high academic standards were starting to be required even of millionaire's sons. I guess you know both he and Kerry belonged to the secret society (read: "Animal House" fraternity) called Skull and Bones. This is a club where 19-year-old guys get drunk, wear jockstraps on their heads, and ignite each others' farts with a cigarette lighter.

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

hy! am i on LSD again and don't know it? (btw, Danke Sandoz!!! :-) Dieses e-mails from f_minor seem to be suggesting that big American shopping malls are using Classical Music as "teenage rapper repellent" to keep diese Rapjunges away from the malls. Is that what this thread is saying?

That's just great. A lifetime of loving classical music, a lifetime of the f_minor people studying to play symphony instruments and classical music on harpsichords, and that's what it's all been for: to keep rappers out of shopping malls.

As Fats Domino used to sing:

"Roll over, Beethoven
and tell Tchaikovsky the news!"

Anonymous patfromch said...

Dyslexia iss serious. I used to have mate who wîs dyslexic and his life in school was hell on earth. it's cute when celebs admit they are dyslexic BUT NOT A BLOODY POLITICIAN!
Yep , the story with Mozart in the Mall is true. I was a bit surprised that on North American reader reacted. I read on the web that some chains are doing this for years in the US. And if Mozart doesn't work they can still try Ornette Coleman or Einstürzende Neubauten, Roland Kirk or Swiss Folk Music !
(No offence against Coleman and EN intended)


Post a Comment

<< Home