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04 October 2005

proposals to amend Vleeptron Constitution

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the Non-Junk High
Science Council of Vleeptron


Proposals to Amend

the Constitution of Vleeptron

1. Capital Punishment

Sending e-mail Spam or cyber-Cooties or AdWare or SpyWare or Cookies shall be punishable by Death.

2. Method of Administering Capital Punishment

2a. Essentially Nice Guys who must be executed will be smothered to Death by dozens of Naked Cheerleaders named Nikki and Tifani and Muffin and Feloni.

2b. Spammers and cyber-Cooties-senders will have their rectum reamed by a Black & Decker drill with a metal sander attachment, to get their Attention. If this fails to attract their Attention, then they will be disemboweled. Later they will be executed.

3. State Religion Established

The Established State Religion of Vleeptron is Now & Forever the Worship of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who created the Universe, made the Pirates, and varies the Number of Pirates proportionally with the changing Global Temperature.

These things, and all the Proven Wonders of Flying Spaghetti Monster, will be taught to all Children in the Vleeptron Publicke Schools. No other theories of Creation may be taught to Children, on Pain of Death.

4. Drugs

All Drugs are Legal on Vleeptron for use by All Persons age 18 or older.

If you get too Fucked Up on a Drug, Vleeptron's Free Universal Planetary Health Service will provide Treatment-on-Demand, Promptly, with a Smile, and a lollipop for every clinic visit.

No non-violent Person will go to Jail or Prison because of Drugs.

Any Politician or Radio Talk-Show Host who advocates Prison for Drugs will be promptly Executed by method 2b.


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