No Laughing Matter

I keep trying to laugh at the Grand Theft Auto Hidden Toon Poon Scandal.

And it keeps getting Not Funnier and Not Funnier.

This past weekend at a national conference of the Democratic Party in Columbus, Ohio, one candidate for the 2008 presidential nomination galloped out of the starting gate ahead of all the others, and mesmerized all the national media and monopolized its attention: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I suspect it will be an easy trick for her to win the Democratic Party's 2008 nomination.

Can she become President? Well ... I can't even begin to guess until it becomes clearer which Republican she'll run against.

But I can say with complete confidence that she'll be the strongest woman candidate of either party to ever try for the White House.

In Columbus, she didn't make noise about the Videogame Toon Poon.

She took center stage to present herself as a warhawk promising to beef up the military and do a far better job than Bush at winning the war in Iraq and the war against terrorism.

She's promising to be the president who bombs the crap out of the village it takes to raise a child.

She's promising to be the nurturing mother who raises American children until they're old enough to be herded into the military and sent to die in combat in Asia. (Not her kids, of course -- in the Clinton family, when there's a war, they have better things to do than serve in uniform. Al Gore, on the other hand, served honorably in the Army including a year's tour in Vietnam, as an Army journalist.)

Digital Videogame Toon Poon is not important.

HERE'S what's important. Every one of these dead children was as important as Chelsea Clinton and had as much right to keep living as Chelsea Clinton.

This is what government should be doing: Stopping these crazy, hopeless, useless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Bill Clinton actually stopped a hopeless American war in Somalia. Hillary Clinton is promising to ratchet up America's wars in Asia, and if she smells Savage Vote Candy in declaring more wars against the Muslim, non-white, non-Christian Third World, she will, in a heartbeat.

She's learned a lot from George W. Bush. She's learned how to get elected to the White House. She's learned from Margaret Thatcher that a frightened, unsophisticated electorate can be manipulated to like a woman chief of state and military commander who considers war a political tool, and uses that tool.

If you asked me to pick the worst possible Democratic nominee for President in 2008, the person with the worst and most toxic and dangerous ideas -- not to mention the Silly Ideas -- I'd pick Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Not "worst" in the sense of unlikely to win the Presidency. I think there's a damn good chance she could win. Name Recognition means so much in politics. Can you even remember, without Googling, whom she defeated for her Senate seat in New York State?

But she's a dangerous idiot who knows nothing about governing the world's most powerful nation. She thinks it has something to do with preventing children from seeing digital cartoons having sex, she thinks that's the important thing government should be doing right now.

I don't want another four or eight years of a Fundie Right-Wing Faith-Based Republican in the White House.

But with increasingly equal fervor, I don't want four or eight years of Hillary Clinton in the White House. She's stupid, dangerous, overwhelmingly self-serving, and she never accomplished anything important or valuable in American politics and government, not as First Lady, not as Senator.

Bill Clinton became President by pulling and pushing the Democratic Party from the Liberal Left to the Center.

Different times. Hillary Clinton will try to become President by pushing the Democratic Party from the Center entirely to the warhawk violent world-bullying Right.

I really loathe George W. Bush ... but on just this question:

Will I be scared for the world
and for the United States
under President Hillary Clinton?

I think I'll be more scared for the world and for the USA under Hillary Clinton than I've been under George W. Bush. I wouldn't have thought that was possible. But now I think it's possible. If she wins the White House, it'll certainly be a very scary tie; President Hillary Clinton will certainly give President George W. Bush a run for his money for scariest presidential legacy.