You want the Chuck E. Cheese party, or what?

Okay, look ... if you want your afternoon party at Chuck E. Cheese, here's the deal:

It's in Code. I won't deny that. You have to Decode it.

But you can do this.

It's NOT one of those New-Fangled Prime Number Codes that require 300 years of analysis by the world's biggest, fastest secret government Supercomputers.

It's a very Old-Fangled kind of Code. The kind that the Captain Midnight Secret Decoder Ring used to use. (Jean Shepherd recalled that all the decoded messages said: DRINK MORE OVALTINE.)

If War ever breaks out between Vleeptron and Planet Yobbo, I sure hope Vleeptron has sharper Codebreakers than this bunch.

Right, you want Hints, right?

Okay. Read "The Gold Bug" by Edgar Allan Poe. Buy the Sunday paper and do the double crostic.