Be Prepared!

This shouldn't get me in trouble, even during the Bush administration. An odd sort of mathematics professor from Harvard, Tom Lehrer, began publicly singing this song out loud, and many others of very questionable theme and content, around 1953, during the Eisenhower administration and the heyday of J. Edgar Hoover and Senator Joe McCarthy, and has been singing these songs for the decades since, sometimes on actual network television (he was a staple guest on the USA version of That Was The Week That Was). Here, from the album Tom Lehrer Revisited, is his introduction and the song.

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I have time for one more here. This one is a little song dedicated to the Boy Scouts of America. [applause] We seem to have a convention here tonight. The Boy Scouts of America, those noble little ... bastions of democracy, and the American Legion of tomorrow. Their motto is ... I would like to state at this time that I am not now and have never been... a member of the Boy Scouts of America. Their motto is, as you know, Be Prepared! and that is the name of this song.

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scout's marching song,
Be prepared! As through life you march along.
Be prepared to hold your liquor pretty well,
Don't write naughty words on walls if you can't spell.

Be prepared! To hide that pack of cigarettes,
Don't make book if you cannot cover bets.
Keep those reefers hidden where you're sure
That they will not be found
And be careful not to smoke them
When the scoutmaster's around
For he only will insist that it be shared.
Be prepared!

Be prepared! That's the Boy Scouts' solemn creed,
Be prepared! And be clean in word and deed.
Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice,
Unless you get a good percentage of her price.

Be prepared! And be careful not to do
Your good deeds when there's no one watching you.
If you're looking for adventure of a
new and different kind,
And you come across a Girl Scout who is
similarly inclined,
Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared.
Be prepared!