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23 February 2005

Dr. Gene Scott's gentle fund-raising style, and his Sermon on Sin

I have been designing a new typographical punctuation mark, in the spirit of the Interrobang, a punctuation mark I sincerely think is badly needed: The Ill-Remembered (but nonetheless Authentic) Quotation Mark. I am too lazy to actually research many authentic quotes to get them right, but I have near-remembered a lot of stuff that actual people actually said, and I think I should have a way to slightly misquote them without outraging the world's Perfectionists and Picky-Pickyists.

Here are two examples, and until I design my new dingbat, we'll use " but colored red.

There I was pretty sober watching The Dr. Gene Scott Show -- officially "Dr. Gene Scott on Hebrews" -- on early Ur-Cable (or UHF channel 788) in the middle of the night, circa 1980, when I got off work, and he Said These Things, and I heard him Say These Things, and so okay, I didn't videotape or Tivo them, but I will stake $100 that if Gene wasn't finished being alive, and read this, he would say, "Yup, that's pretty goddam close to what I said, close enough for gummint work, have a Cuban seegar, son."

First of all, we need to reference, as a comparison baseline, the fund-raising solicitation styles of other famous, infamous, notorious televangelists. As the 1-900- number pops up on the screen, can you see those Smiles? Can you see them Praying For You? Can you Feel the Love? Can you hear the Cheesy Holy Choir Music? Bless your soul.

Here was Gene Scott soliciting funds:

"Goddam it, if you are a son-of-a-bitch who is WATCHING these programs, and hearing these Scripture lessons, and you are NOT tithing -- if you are NOT sending me one goddam tenth of everything you own -- then you are a THIEF! And you are stealing from GOD! And you will BURN IN HELL forever!"

Jeez, I heard that and was reaching for my checkbook and trembling before I caught myself. This was one scary telethon solicitor, the Anti-Jim-&-Tammy-Faye-Bakker.

And thus endeth the comparison to the Bakkers. The IRS and the FCC and various state and federal law-enforcement agencies and grand juries snooped around and chased and harrassed Dr. Gene Scott all over the map for decades, and never even slapped him with a parking ticket that stuck. He died screaming over the airwaves with his 300 Tennessee Walking Horses and his gaudy crucifix on, no jail or handcuffs ever stuck to Gene.

And then there's Gene's Sermon on Sin I'll never forget:

"The preachers all say, 'Don't sin, it'll make you so unhappy, sin makes you feel so bad, sin's just awful.' Well, that's just a big Load of Crap and everybody knows it! Sin is FUN! Liquor! Drugs! Fornication! Those things are just nothin' but lots of FUN! That's why everybody's been doing all that stuff since time began! You think people drink and fornicate and do drugs 'cause it makes 'em feel bad?"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was a memberof scott's cult and for a while was taken in by his bullshit. He was a fraud. He was a lying cock-sucker who repeatedly told his congregation and tv audience that if they did not pledge $10,000 in order to continue his insane teaching on pyramidology, British-Israelism and other insane philosophies, that they would burn in hell. This fat, shapeless, cigar smelling piece of shit was far worse then the sleeziest hucksters on TBN or any other religeous networks. He regarded his staff and congregation as nothing but walking ATMs and lackeys. He was a pompous, greedy, self-important repulsive spitoon-breathed bag of wind who talked tough, but in reality was a pussy. He was also amoral in his personal life. He loved to make subtle sexual references whenever possible; a definite indication that he was extremely 'small in the pants'. I celebrate this prick's death and hope that he gets his just desserts for his corruption.

Blogger Vleeptron Dude said...

Hi Anonymous -- Vleeptron has 1 rule, we like to know who a commenter is, or where, or what link to website/blog -- something, anything. But thanks very much for your comments about Dr. Gene.

Also how the hell did you find my old whack Vleeptron? We've moved on to , please join us and leave comments.

I became a Gene Scott fan because i would get off work around midnight and only had broadcast TV and Gene's and Jim & Tammy's shows were the only thing I could pull out of the air on my rabbit ears. For me, these shows were like nightly carnival side show freak shows.

But Gene -- I have to admit, I admired him for his in-your-face obey-me-or-God-will-send-you-to-Hell ballsiness. Certainly not Jim and Tammy Faye's sweet saccharine group hug fund-raising style.

You've reminded me of Gene's absolutely nutbag whackerooni blackboard demonstrations proving that the pyramids were ... oh man, his theories and Biblical decodings were batcrap loony. I miss Gene a lot.

Somewhere near here -- obviously a day or 2 after he died -- I reprinted the Associated Press obit.

And I loved his hours shooting birds and riding his Tennessee walking horses. Had no idea what that had to do with Heaven & Hell, but he sure put on a great show.


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