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12 October 2005

Nasty Fracas in Stockholm: The VLEEPTRON BOOK CLUB recommends ...!

"... whining, unenjoyable public pornography ..."

All the science, peace and economics Nobel Prizes have been announced in a dignified, orderly, Scandinavian fashion, including the ballroom dancing demonstration which accompanied the Chemistry award, but Vleeptron noted a little hint a few days ago that the LETTERS/LITERATURE Prize seemed to have run into some kind of delay, with a hint of some kind of controversy.

The controversy seems not to be over choosing the new 2005 winner.

It seems to be over last year's 2004 whiner.

I'm sort of out of the loop on pornography. I don't even own a pornograph.

But if you like unenjoyable, whining pornography (actually, if it's written by a woman, the proper term is unenjoyable, whining Erotica), check this out. Something's going on behind closed doors in Stockholm that's more fun than people should be allowed to have with their trousers on. Swedes are getting their knickers in a twist over this stuff.


The Age, Australia
Thursday 13 October 2005
(pickup from the Los Angeles Times)

Dissent rattles Nobel academy

By Jeffrey Fleishman

BERLIN -- A LOUD crack of dissent has rattled the secretive world that hands out Nobel prizes.

Days before this year's literature prize announcement, a member of the Swedish Academy, which gives the award, resigned in disgust over last year's unexpected winner, Austrian writer Elfriede Jelinek.

Knut Ahnlund, 82, sent a missive to the Swedish newspaper Svenska Dagbladet. He characterised Jelinek's work as "whining, unenjoyable public pornography" and said her prize "has not only been an irreparable damage to all progressive forces, it has also confused the general view of literature as an art". "After this, I cannot even formally remain in the Swedish Academy."

Mr Ahnlund did not say why he waited so long to voice his disdain. Horace Engdahl, the academy's permanent secretary, told the Swedish media that Mr Ahnlund had not attended academy meetings for nearly a decade and was not involved in Jelinek's selection.

He suggested that Mr Ahnlund timed his displeasure to spoil today's naming of the next winner. The academy was expected to name a winner last Thursday, but delayed the announcement.

Some European literati have suggested an ideological or political split among members over a winner, a claim the academy denies. The award carries a $1.3 million prize. Public resignations from the 18-member academy are rare, offering a glimpse into a collection of intellectuals viewed as everything from curmudgeonly, eccentric, visionary, clueless, politically motivated and, most often, unpredictable.

In 1989, members Kerstin Ekman and Lars Gyllensten quit after accusing the academy of not supporting Salman Rushdie against death threats from the late Iranian leader Ayatollah Khomeini over the novel The Satanic Verses.

Jelinek's prize revealed the academy's sometime preference for unconventional style and work that is not always widely translated. A tint of leftist politics, a charge the academy often faces but denies, also surrounded her selection: Jelinek's recent works were sharply critical of the Bush Administration and the war on Iraq.

Since 1901 the academy has awarded many writers whose works have since been forgotten. It has overlooked luminaries including Leo Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Henrik Ibsen, Virginia Woolf, Emile Zola and Joseph Conrad.

Copyright © 2005. The Age Company Ltd.


The Guardian (UK)
Wednesday 12 October 2005

Nobel winner's work
is violent porn, says juror

· Author quits in protest at last year's award to Jelinek
· Attack comes on eve of naming of 2005 laureate

Luke Harding in Berlin

A member of the Swedish Academy that will award this year's Nobel prize for literature tomorrow has attacked last year's surprise winner, Elfriede Jelinek, dismissing her work as "whingeing [sic] , unenjoyable, violent pornography."

The Swedish author Knut Ahnlund said yesterday he was quitting the academy in disgust over the decision to award the 2004 prize to the Austrian novelist. It had "caused irreparable harm to the value of the award for the foreseeable future", he wrote in the newspaper Svenska Dagbladet. Ahnlund, 82, suggested that only a "tiny number" of the 18 jurors who awarded the prize to the German-speaking Jelinek had actually read any of her books. Jelinek was an "obsessive" with a "single track," Ahnlund added.

It was not clear last night why Ahnlund waited a year before delivering his tirade against Jelinek, who failed to turn up to collect her prize at last year's ceremony. But there was suspicion that the academy member is also unhappy about the latest choice for the 2005 Nobel prize for literature, who will be named tomorrow.

Yesterday Jelinek's German editor dismissed the suggestion that the feminist writer had not deserved the Nobel. "This is absurd. It's crazy," Delf Schmidt told the Guardian. "I don't know why he's waited a whole year to say this. He must want to show dissent over the latest choice of laureate." He added: "Ms Jelinek combines a highly cultivated and literary style with political concerns. She deals with big themes such as Austria's past, and the violence in that past. She was a highly worthy winner."

There has been speculation that the academy was split over whether to hand this year's prize to the Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk. Other names mentioned have included the Syrian poet Adonis, the American Joyce Carol Oates, and the Swede Thomas Transtromer. The award, worth 10m krona (£735,000), is usually announced on one of the first two Thursdays in October. Unlike the Nobels for peace, medicine, physics, chemistry and economics, the prize date is only announced two days beforehand.

"After this I cannot even formally remain in the Swedish Academy," Ahnlund wrote. Yesterday the academy's permanent secretary, Horace Engdahl, said Ahnlund had not participated in academy meetings for nearly 10 years and was not privy to discussions leading to Jelinek's selection. "He knows nothing about the discussion that led to the choice of Elfriede Jelinek so what he says in this article of his must be seen as empty speculation," he said.

The choice of Nobel laureate is often dismissed as obscure when the winner hails from outside the publishing mainstream of Anglophone authors.


[VLEEPTRON SURPRISE: Heilige Scheiße! Elfrieda's still using Compuserve!!!]


A .... Abdruck
BA ... Buchausgabe
EA ... Erstaufführung
ED ... Erstdruck
I .... Inszenierung
LA ... Lizenzausgabe
ML ... Musikalische Leitung
TB ... Taschenbuchausgabe
UA ... Uraufführung

ROMANE [von Elfriede Jelinek]

wir sind lockvögel baby!
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1970.
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1988 (= rororo 12341).

Ein Jugendbuch für die Infantilgesellschaft
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1972 (= das neue buch 12).
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1987 (= rororo 5880).

Die Liebhaberinnen [The Lovers]
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1975 (= das neue buch 64).
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1989 (= rororo 12467).
LA: Mit einem Vor- und Nachwort der Autorin. Berlin: Volk und Welt 1978.

ED: mit bildern von robert zeppel-sperl. Wien: Rhombus 1979 (hg. v. Vintila Ivanceanu).

Die Ausgesperrten
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1980.
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1985 (= rororo 5519).
LA: Lizenzausgabe für die Buchgemeinschaft Donauland Kremayr & Scheriau, Wien, die Bertelsmann Club GmbH, Gütersloh, die Buch- und Schallplattenfreunde GmbH, Zug/Schweiz, und die EBG Verlags-GmbH, Kornwestheim, 1987.

Die Klavierspielerin [The Piano Player]
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1983 (= das neue buch).
Weitere gebundene Ausgabe: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1998.
Reinbek: Rowohlt 1986 (= rororo 5812, ab 1999: = rororo 15812).
Reinbek: Rowohlt 2001 (= rororo 23166)
Lizenzausgabe für die Europäische Bildungsgemeinschaft Verlags-GmbH, Stuttgart, die Bertelsmann Club GmbH, Gütersloh, die Buchgemeinschaft Donauland Kremayr & Scheriau, Wien, und die Buch- und Schallplattenfreude GmbH, Zug/Schweiz, 1984.
Lizenzausgabe der Buchgemeinschaft Donauland Kremayr & Scheriau, Wien, und der angeschlossenen Buchgemeinschaften, 1985.

Oh Wildnis, oh Schutz vor ihr

ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1985.
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1993 (= rororo 13407).

Lust [ <-- this might be a good place to look for those Hot Paragraphs ... see Vleeptron Pizza Offer at bottom ]

ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1989. TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1992 (= rororo 13042).
LA: Frankfurt am Main: Büchergilde Gutenberg 1989.
Lizenzausgabe für die Buchgemeinschaft Donauland Kremayr & Scheriau, Wien, die Deutsche Buchgemeinschaft, Wien, den "Bücherbund", Wien, die Bertelsmann Club GmbH, Gütersloh, die Buch- und Schallplattenfreude GmbH, Zug/Schweiz und die EBG Verlags-GmbH, Kornwestheim, 1990.
Berlin: Volk & Welt 1991.

Die Kinder der Toten
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1995.
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 1997 (= rororo 22161).
LA: Lizenzausgabe der Buchgemeinschaft Donauland Kremayr & Scheriau, Wien, und der angeschlossenen Buchgemeinschaften, 1995.

Ein Unterhaltungsroman
ED: Reinbek: Rowohlt 2000.
TB: Reinbek: Rowohlt 2002 (= rororo 23131).
LA: Lizenzausgabe der Buchgemeinschaft Donauland Kremayr & Scheriau, Wien, und der angeschlossenen Buchgemeinschaften, 1995.


VLEEPTRON PIZZA OFFER: If anybody has, in English translation or deutsches, a passage or two of the alleged whining unenjoyable porno, please Post It Here, Leave A Comment. Like all good Text Porno, we don't need the Whole Thing ... just those three paragraphs on Page 88. Danke.


Anonymous patfromch said...

Am I the only one who can speak deutsch hier ? Bloody Hell, verfluchte Scheisse.
Appararently one of her short stories has been included in an erotic short story anthology audio book (together with Hildegard von Bingen and some others). You can have it as text or even mp3. But only if you want to.

I can only hope that this year they are going to give the prize to someone cool, Not to some lad who's describing the momevemt of a sand dune or what it's like to watch paint dry.

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

Remittez SVP vite-vite schnellst, im Textformat. Just the heisse parts. Skip the lengthy Philosophie and the descriptions of the moving sand dunes.

Did you know that Joyce Carol Oates has had an unusually close personal relationship with Mike Tyson for many years? Okay, don't believe Vleeptron. Try Googling "Joyce Carol Oates" and "Mike Tyson", see what you get.

Joyce has written that the most beautiful thing on Earth to her is to watch two very large violent men just wearing shorts try to beat the living crap out of each other. At all the big Heavyweight Boxing Matches, Joyce is the Meiskeit in the front row not smokin' a seegar. (Or maybe she DOES rauche die Seegar -- that's a big recent thing with uptown literati women over here these days. It's a George Sand kind of thing.)

Give it up waiting for Tom Wolfe's Nobel Literature Prize. Half the Scandinavian Literary Experts who MIGHT want to give him the Prize see his photo in those White Soots and just burst into uncontrollable Lochen. And you know how hard it is to get Scandinavians to Lochen.

I resigned from the Literature Committee when they wouldn't give the fucking prize to your Herr Durrenmatt whilst he lived. I will never forgive the Swedes for that.

I haven't Amazoned, but I've never seen any English translations of diese Ostriechlicheromaneschreibermeiskeit. Boll was totally unknown in the USA when he won, and Quick-Like-A-Bunny they cranked out an English edition of The Clown. I'm a big fan of Boll, also of his Gruppe 47 pal Grass.

Last year there were already Coetzee works for sale in the US. He didn't catch us completely ignorant and surprized.

from my unpublished roman:


I stood on the rock -- the western side of it was covered with dry lichen and so my shoes had a firm grip -- and looked at the row of dunes. "We are never going to run short of sand" -- that was the thought that ran through my head.

They seemed motionless. But of course they were moving. Constantly in motion. It is not that sand dunes move slowly. It is that men move so quickly between the entrance and the exit of their one brief and tormented ride through reality -- that is the source of the common illusion that sand dunes are not moving.

Something about the sand dunes filled me with regret, even shame. Of course I am always filled with shame, with guilt, with remorse, with regret. But what was it about the sand dunes, I wondered, which was irradiating me at that instant with such an intense wave of these things?

We will never run short of sand.

I remembered reading that Archimedes had invented an entire new method of reckoning large numbers in an essay called "The Sand Reckoner." He wanted to compute the number of grains of sand on all the beaches on Earth, and then find a way to express his answer in a number.

I was just close enough to the nearest dune to be able to see the glint of individual grains of quartz-rich sand. I began to count them. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.


Thirteen. Fourteen.

Where would I go when I finished counting all the grains of sand? Or perhaps I would have to stop when the sun went down in a few hours. Briefly I smiled when I saw the image of my mistress Anika ... but just briefly. I would go to her apartment, knock on the door, and she would open the door, see me, and smile. But she would be lying, her smile would be a lie. She hated me. We both knew that. She was dreaming of a younger man. Or a younger woman. Or two younger women, and a young man. Sometimes she dreamt of three young men, two young women, and a chihuahua. In bed together, when my eyes were open and hers were closed, I could see her dreams.

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

I'm pretty sure DespicableTeacher sprache der deutsches, but I'm too shy to ask her if she has any deutscheserotica. You ask her. Mamagiggle's always full of surprises, maybe she has some.

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen.

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

When Faulkner won the prize, his editor sent him a telegram. Faulkner telegraphed back that he couldn't go to Stockholm because he didn't own a tuxedo. I think the editor replied WE'LL RENT YOU A FUCKING TUXEDO

why didn't the Ostreichelicheroticashreiber go to collect her prize? That's pretty cheesy, I think. Did she cash the $1.3 million check?

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

yes yes I confess ... "I don't even own a pornograph" was found carved on a ziggurat in Uruk around 4200 BC. I love them old jokes.

Blogger pat's pub said...

....downloading text...
twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two...
I seem to rembember that Jelinek is not very fond of giving interviews or personal appearences. the pic you chose is not up-to-date. She's a bit of a hermit I reckon. i also seem to remember that she didn't go to Stockholm to recieve her prize in person

Now where did that bleedin' sand dune go while I was writing this

Blogger Bob Merkin said...

you remember right ... she didn't go to pick up her prize in Stockholm. Women don't have to wear tuxedos, but maybe she couldn't find a nice outfit to wear.

but as I wondered above ... if they sent her the check, did she cash it?

I filched her foto from her (Compuserve!) website. It might not be Recent, but it's always very interesting to see which foto a person chooses for his/her own website. My officially released fotos show me with a wonderful shock of raven-dark hair, and tonnes of teeth.

Danke fur diese Textporn!

Anonymous DespicableTeacher said...

I do know some Deutsch, but my only stuff auf Deutsch is a very valuable Heinrich Heine ( complete works in Gothik!) and of course all the Böll and Dürrenmat i had to read for College.

We want to see that official photo of yours!


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