News, Weather, Mozart, Sports, Eurovision Love Ænema & Perverted Videogames from Vleeptron

NGO_Vleeptron (aka "Bob from Massachusetts") recently featured LIVE on BBC WORLD SERVICE, heard briefly by Gazillions!!!

My Photo
Name:
Location: Great Boreal Deciduous Hardwood Forest, New England, United States

old dude, all hair, swell new teeth

10 May 2005

In the Labyrinth (after Alfred Jarry)


Mamagiggle said...

Even with the keys and maps it is very easy to get turned around in a labyrinth, that is its entire function after all. Left, right, north and south get spun and twisted very quickly, especially if you intellectualize instead of experience, hey ho, please go to that Garden and tell us about its wonders!! (Though do stop to teach the crying children a few tricks then you'll be a real hero.)

6:53 AM
(apres Alfred Jarry)

Deep within the Labyrinth of le Jardin des Plantes, Rive Gauche, Paris.

DRAMATIS PERSONAE:

BOB, an American, who has used his Heathkit TM-212 Time Machine to make a special trip to le Jardin des Plantes, to see the Panther and the Labyrinth.

As Bob turns a corner in the Labyrinth, he encounters CUNEGONDE, a small French girl. She is crying.

BOB: Bonjour, ma jeune fille. Porquoi tu ..... boo-hoo-hoo? Ton lamentation?

CUNEGONDE: Je suis PERDU!!!! Aidez-moi! Aidez-moi, s'il vous plait, Monsieur!

BOB: Ah, as-tu une probleme a asseyer le Sorti du çette Labyrinth?

CUNEGONDE: Oui!

BOB: Combien des temps tu es perdu en çette Labyrinth, ma petite chou?

CUNEGONDE: Je ne suis pas ton petite chou, Monsieur, mais je suis perdu en çette Labyrinth terrible pour deux heures maintenant. Je suis tres malheureaux.

BOB: Eh bien, dacors, j'ai le solution du ton probleme.

CUNEGONDE: Vraiment???

BOB: Oui, jeune fille. Dacors. Maintenant pressez ton main gauche au le ... comment d'it on? Çette.

CUNEGONDE: Le mur.

BOB: Oui, pressez ton main gauche au le mur. Jamais a remover ton main gauche du le mur. Marchez en avant. C'est touts.

CUNEGONDE: Porquoi mon main gauche?

BOB: Parce-que je ne sais pas le mot pour "right."

CUNEGONDE: Ah, dacors.

BOB: Mais c'est tout nesessaire pour a solver ton probleme. Le nomme du çette technique trés importante c'est "le Algorithme du Theseus," ou "le Algorithme du Fleury," aprés le mathematicien française Gilles Fleury. Mais Theseus il est un trés courageux et intelligent Hero Hellenique, aussi il est perdu en une Labyrinth terrible ançien, du Minos.

CUNEGONDE: Toujours mon main gauche en le mur? Et je marche en avant?

BOB: Oui, you got it. Marchez.

CUNEDONDE: Merci beaucoups, Monsieur!

BOB: Il n'y a pas de quoi, Doucette.

CUNEGONDE: Je ne m'apelle pas Doucette. Je m'apelle Cunegonde.

BOB: Ah, qeulle jolie! Eh bien, au revoir, Madamoiselle.

CUNEGONDE: Merci, et au revoir aussi, Monsieur.

Fin

9 Comments:

Blogger pat's pub said...

...well, at least his french is not as bad as his deutsch. that Microwave French ("cliquez ici") seems to be paying off. La grammaire n'est pas toujours correct, mais la pataphisique est parfait.....not bad for a eurocentric American (harr harr)
I forgot to mention that I am NOT happy with the Translation of the Rilke Poem. It's inaccurate. Of course a translation can never be 100 percent accurate and it depends on the translator how he approaches a given subject, but at least he should stick with the bleeding words and not make stuff up on his own...

17:35  
Blogger Bob Merkin said...

The Italians say (but I'm sure they don't spell it this way): Traduttore, tradittore. Translator, Traitor.

Please address all complaints re the English translation of Rilke's Panther to Albert Ernest Flemming. I don't expect him to make a very spirited defense of his poetic license, as SWMBO went surfing for him and suspects he is dead; he seems to have been one of the first English translators of Rilke's stuff.

NOTE TO FLEMMING: We can't find anything about you on the Web. If you are not dead, please e-mail me, or post a comment to Vleeptron.

The poet Stephen Spender has also taken a whack at translating Rilke's Duino Elegies, teamed with J.B. Leishman. Sometimes these teams contain 1 person who actually speaks the other language, and 1 poet to poetify the translation.

So ... is Rilke considered ein altekaker, a forgotten old geezer dead guy, or is he still widely read and admired auf deutsches?

Merci for saying that my French is better than my German. Do you happen to know the word for sausage en francais? And in Italiano and Romansch while I got you on the line?

17:55  
Blogger Mamagiggle said...

merci
and now I'll crawl back into my snail shell...is it really that simple? Silly me!

18:00  
Blogger Bob Merkin said...

Et oui! Je suis un Docteur du le College du Pataphysique!

18:01  
Blogger Bob Merkin said...

hey mamagiggle ... I have TESTED IT at the very large and formidable chain-link fence maze built by architecture students of the University of Massachusetts at Amherst -- and the crazy thing works!!! I got to the center and then out to the exit again as easy as I can get to the bathroom and get out again!

18:04  
Blogger Mamagiggle said...

hmmm,
today is many things including:

Date: Tue May 10 00:00:03 EDT 2005
AOL Date: Tue Sep 4270 00:00:03 EDT 1993
Discordian Date: Today is Setting Orange,the 57th day of Discord in the YOLD 3171
Hebrew Date: Iyar 1 5765
Mayan Long Count Date: 12.19.12.4.18
Mayan Haab Date: 16 Uo
Mayan Tzolkin Date: 4 Etznab
Pataphysical Date: samedi, Palotin 21, 132

*pop*
yeah brain candy rocks!

23:49  
Blogger pat's pub said...

Now for that Labyrinth thing...is this the same labyrinth Umberto Eco is using in the Name Of the Rose ? this standard Labyrinth they used on the floors of medieval churches and in baroque english gardens ? Can't think of it now but this type of Labyrinth has a particular name....(sometimes I just hate it to be n non-intellectual)
Rilke is still popular up in Germany. They still love and respect their Poets and Thinkers. Last year they celebrated Kant (yo), this year is Schiller Year, I think. A few years ago some of the new lions in german theatre and music got together and formed the Rilke Project: http://www.rilke-projekt.de/

More Math Rock For Bob: VoiVod from Quebec, NoMeansNo from Canada, Tortoise from Chicago, Victim's Family from SF, Watchtower from TX and Rush on a very bad day...

00:15  
Blogger Mamagiggle said...

BTW that information I posted came from this, I wonder if the Vleeptron calendar could be added to it's content? Thanks for the fun diversions!

10:58  
Blogger Joana said...

sausage> saucisse :9

16:41  

Post a Comment

<< Home